full moon
by Luciana Riddle
Summary: Ulquiorra just wanted some Tacos...Grimmjow ruined the Tacos i made a chapter two to end the story sorry if it wasnt as good as chapter one. i guess i wasnt really in the mood. please Read and respond
1. Chapter 1

T.T I don't own bleach or Ulquiorra, but I will just have to face reality.

Something had gone terribly wrong in Hueco Mundo. Aizen had seen it for himself. "I wonder if on earth if it's a full moon?" he asked Gin who was casually perched at the arm of his chair.

Ulquiorra strode with a small smile on his face, as he walked into the kitchen. "Tacos make the world go round." He sang happily as he began to assemble the ingredients for his Beloved Tacos.

Meanwhile Grimmjow jeagerjaques who hadn't insulted anybody for a whole three hours was skimming through People magazine.

"Lindsay Lohan is going to jail again? Why the hell do I even read this crap?" he asked himself as he tossed the issue out the window.

Somehow something willed it to blow into the kitchen two floors down. Ulquiorra was just frying the beef for his tacos, humming to himself as he did so.

He turned his back for a quick second to chop some tomatoes. The magazine landed in the beef and promptly caught fire. Ulquiorra's tacos were ruined.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" his yell was heard all through Las Noches. Grimmjaw even hid in his closet. "Damn you jeagerjaques! YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY TACOS!" he yelled as he threw a metal spatula at the wall. His force was so great that it cracked it.

Hallibel burst through Grimmjaw's door. "You idiot! You ruined Ulquiorra's tacos! Do you know how bad that is? He will destroy you!" she yelled as she threw a can of cheese whiz at his head.

"Holy Shit, Jeagerjaques is in for it." Aizen said as he watched the monitors. "This is going to be funny." Gin said as he came back with some popcorn from the kitchen as soon as Ulquiorra left.

Ulquiorra burst through Grimmjaw's door. "my baby tacos, you killed my little tacos!" he whined with crocodile tears running down his face. "I-I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!" Grimmjaw said as he tried to escape through the window.

Ulquiorra advanced on him as Grimmjaw grabbed the cheese Whiz. 'damn, he figured out me weakness.' Ulquiorra thought as he tried to spray it at him.

"NOOOOO! NOT CHEESE WHIZ ANYTHING BUT THAT!" Ulquiorra yelled as he transformed into a flying burrito and left through the window.

Aizen and Gin sat there with wide eyes. "What the hell?" Gin asked. "but now we can use this cheese whiz against him, and try to control superman's powers!" Aizen yelled with a maniacal laugh.

"Ulquiorra doesn't have super powers. And…he's not superman." Gin said as he reached for more popcorn. "Shut up! He is too Superman! I saw it myself!" Aizen yelled as he ran through the hallway. "What the hell was that about?" Gin asked himself as he watched the monitor.

Okay this was my first attempt at a comedy story. Tell me what you think. If you liked it I might be able to write some more^.^


	2. Chapter 2

Okay so this is for you dudes out there that liked my story called full moon. This one is entitled superman. And I don't own bleach or any of its characters.

So Ulquiorra (in his flying burrito form) flew across Hueco Mundo. "Holy shit that was close. I almost got discovered." He said to himself.

Meanwhile Aizen was still running. "TO THE RAT CAVE!" he yelled as he jumped out the window. "NO AIZEN! DAMN!" Gin yelled once Aizen jumped out the window from the top story of Las Noches palace.

Then, suddenly Aizen turned into a calculator. "WHAT THE HELL?" Gin asked as Aizen went into warp speed in order to catch up to superman.

And as all this was happening Grimmjow was given the order to do all of Ulquiorra's chores. Which included cooking 'cant do that.' cleaning 'nope I cant do that either.' and helping Aizen get in and out of his pajamas. (make sure and warm him up some hot sauce or he wont sleep.) the note said. "hot sauce? What the hell? Has this world gone mad?" he asked as he threw an apron on to cook spaghetti.

Aizen was gaining on Ulquiorra. "HAH! I HAVE YOU NOW SUPERMAN!" he yelled in his calculator form. "I'm NOT SUPERMAN BITCH!" Ulquiorra screamed as he skidded to a stop. "Then who are you?"

"I am the green lantern. Fear my green lantern-ness!" Ulquiorra yelled. "but- then who is superman?" Aizen asked.

Suddenly they heard a rumble from behind them. "I am Superman!" they all heard Nnoitra. Skid to a stop. "Nnoitra? I should have known! Prepare to eat Cheese Whiz!" Aizen said as the two got into battle stance.

Meanwhile Renji was busy fighting random Espada and Arrancars. "Bankai!" suddenly music erupts from the background. "What the hell?" the arrancar asked.

"Its peanut butter Renji time!" a random dude from the background singers chimed. "Yea bitch! Peanut butter jelly!"

Then, Renji put on the whitest makeup he could find and began to do the thriller. (no offense to our wonderful Michael Jackson fans out there, I just thought it would be funny)

"HEY ALL YOU MUTHER FUCKERS! ITS FUCKIN DINNER TIME!" they heard Grimmjow scream.

"okay lets go!" suddenly they walked into an elevator. And the Grey's anatomy characters Meredith and Derek were having elevator sex. "does this always happen?" asked Renji who was still looking like Michael Jackson asked.

Then, they all sat down for dinner. Even Aizen and Ulquiorra, everybody but Nnoitra. Because he was currently covered in cheese whiz.

"Grimmjow cooked this? Now I'm scared." Gin said as he took a mouthful of the mush. But by then Renji had eaten it all. "DAMNIT WHOEVER THE HELL YOU ARE! I REALLY TRIED TO COOK THIS SHIT! AND YOU FUCKING ATE IT?" Grimmjow screamed.

Then, as to be expected Renji turned into a peanut butter jelly sandwich and exploded. Orihime walked in and stopped when she passed Hallibel. "this is an intervention." She said.

"you have been addicted to that horrible drug. A drug called Tacos for too long Ulquiorra. Did you know that tacos contain cheese? You could die!" Orihime screamed.

"Will you please get help today?" Aizen asked. Then just like he did before Ulquiorra turned into a flying burrito. Except this time, the burrito didn't have any hot sauce. "Damnit Aizen? Did you eat all the hot sauce?" Ulquiorra yelled. "so what? It didn't have your name on it!" Aizen said.

Then Ulquiorra began to catch on fire. "NO WITHOUT THE HOT SAUCE. I CANT FUEL MY COOLING TANKS! I NEED TO COOL DOWN. HEY COOLADE!" Ulquiorra yelled. Then all the sudden a giant pitcher of coolade broke down the wall. "No I just fixed that wall! Damnit coolade why cant you just use the door?" Gin yelled.

"Don't distract me!" coolade who was looking for Aizen yelled. But before he could find him he was melting. "nooo! I'm melting! What a world what a world!" Aizen who was melting in a heap yelled. "MARK MY WORDS SUPERMAN! I WILL DESTROY YOU!" were his last words.

"shit, I don't have the fucking slightest clue what just happened, but I know I am done with this shit! I quit!" Grimmjow stormed off. "HOUSE PARTY!" Ulquiorra yelled in his burrito form. "lets make tacos!" he screamed and ran towards the kitchen. Gin sighed. "this happens too much. In a few days Aizen will come back. Ulquiorra will make Tacos and Grimmjow will somehow set them on fire. Then, Aizen will mistake Ulquiorra for Superman and then attempt to kill Nnoitra. All the While Grimmjow is making inedible food that one new Espada will eat and we will all go hungry. HEY WHO WANTS CHINESE?" Gin asked as he took out his phonebook.


End file.
